I'm Probably Only as Good as Rankings Say That I am

Last year, around this time, US News released a public high school ranking. My school came in at 58.

This year, the school came in at 62.

What the hell Jericho?

Even while being in the Top 100 schools in the country is definitely an honor, I admit that I felt a little down about it. I'm used to things getter better with age, not worse. And it doesn't make me feel any better that most peoples' schools weren't even on the list at all. You see, it's not about being better than someone else, it's about being good enough for myself. I say this with a straight face.

"Is your high school on the list?"

"No."

"That's OK. It just means I'm smarter than you. But I'm sure you're better than me at other things, like dumbness."

Feeling somethat threatened, I'm sure, the individual with whom I had the exchange went online to try to find a different ranking, something that would shut me up, or elevate them, or maybe both.

But the other ranking that was found in the process put Jericho at 20. That's a little more like it.

In all honesty I have no idea what the school is like these days even as the 10-year reunion now looms a mere 7 months away. 10 freaking years. What have I done with my life? I'm not going to say "oh, this puts everything in perspective" because I'm always trying to keep things in perspective, but it sure as hell gives me a little kick in the pants, even while I don't really know what I'm supposed to do with this kick.

See, I say this all with no specific expectations about where I think I should be in my life. Maybe by default a 10-year high school reunion is just one of those things that makes you feel weird about where you are, no matter where that is. I could be married with kids and be like "oh wow, I'm married with kids, and I never really got to do those things I said I was going to do." Maybe it's the idea of mortality, something that shows you that 10 years of your life have practically flashed away.

Have they really flashed away? That could just be me saying that because that's what people say - "10 years passed in a heartbeat." Actually, it feels like high school was a long time ago, and if anything, the last 2.5 years have gone faster than any of the ones that came before. I could just be digging for a reason to brood.

I also realize that modern technology has significantly reduced the importance of the high school reunion. Here we are with all of these Facebook "friends" who were high school friends, enemies, crushes, and I can see what they're up to. I can see their pictures from their weddings, pictures detailing their vacations, weight gain, hair loss. It's not interesting anymore, there's nothing much new to be found out when you show up to the reunion.

I think about it this way - I've kept in touch with the people who matter to me. So there's really no great value to the reunion other than satifsying curiosity.

I guess that should be enough for me.