New York, Oh New York

I subscribed to "New York" magazine a few weeks back because, well, it's awesome. It's crazy when you think about it, and entire magazine devoted to all things New York that has so much to report that you get it every 5 days or so. How is this possible? And the thing is, it's always new stuff, new stories. Sure you wonder, how many times can they review these Broadway shows? How many new restaurants are opening this week? What's so interesting about someone I haven't already read about on the news that I need this magazine to tell me? But somehow, and I don't really understand how, there's apparently a lot of shit going on in New York.

But the best part about it all, is having one of those moments when you're reading something someone else has written and you can't help but burst out laughing because it's described in the same way you've thought about it. It's particularly special when a fellow New Yorker connects to you on something only a seasoned New Yorker would understand, one of those unstated inside jokes that you both get, the wink-wink or sigh/tossed back shaking head w/smile you give the stranger on the street when you both just "know" without having to say anything. earlier today I had one of those moments. Armed with the latest issue of "New York" (June 4, 2007), my highly portable subway read, I've skipped that cover article about Jim Cramer because, frankly, I don't give a damn. But then I come across an article by Peter Carey and he's writing about what it was like to be a writer in Australia in the 60s, and then coming to New York to try to make it here, and then finally teaching writing to other would-be Pulitzer Prize winners at Hunter (although, no offense to Hunter, I'm not exactly sure what kind of writers that place produces). Anyway, I'm on pg. 62 when I read this - "as the train does that violent chiropractic jerk between Grand Central and 33rd." And I was like, "yes! Exactly!"

Since starting work I've taken the 6 train down from 51st St. on a near daily basis. I like to subway "surf" which means "no hands" because I don't want to get a skin disease from touching the subway poles. Usually surfing is not that big a deal, because the train doesn't do anything crazy. You just gotta let your legs stay loose, become one with the unsteadiness, bend like a reed in the wind, because as soon as you stiffen up and try to fight the little shifts the subway makes, you topple over and have to reassert your footing. Well, while this might hold true for most parts of the subway system, somehow there's some maniacal turn between 42nd and 33rd St. when going downtown. Everything seems normal for a moment, and then the train lurches around a surprisingly sharp turn and everyone who doesn't know this and who isn't holding on, flops forward onto whatever's in front of them, whether empty space or another person. Just yesterday a guy in purple corduroys and a purple t-shirt (don't ask) tripped over his own bag and almost flew into the poll in the middle of the subway car. He took a good four steps before correcting himself and looking around embarrassed. I've stopped chuckling at these people because, on the rare occasion I forget, I sometimes find myself grabbing onto whatever limb I see in front of me.

Still, this guy Carey totally got it. He knew exactly what I've been thinking for the last nine months, and there's something so satisfying in knowing this is a New York thing, or more specifically, a 6 train thing, and that the both of us, and probably a lot of other people on that route, have thought along the same lines. It's moments like these that make me love being a New Yorker, and getting so intimate with the City that I learn its little secrets and tricks. Now if only I could find my way into some exclusive VIP-only clubs that I don't know about. I want to take my intimacy with the City to the next level.

Embarrassed to be an American?

My apologies for going silent these past few days (almost a week damn it!). Today I wanted to jump back to Monday and talk about the Memorial Day holiday that we just had. I was meaning to write about it on Monday but as you can see, that didn't happen.

On Sunday I was at home in LI, and when I woke up on Monday and looked out onto my street, the street that I've lived on since I was 10 years old, I found it curious that nobody in the entire neighborhood had a flag up besides us. Albeit ours was very little, a makeshift one my dad picked up in Central Park on Saturday when he came into the City to play soccer, but it was still a flag. When I think about, people in my neighborhood aren't really even big on flags on July 4th, while my dad proudly drapes my large 5'x3' flag out of the second floor window. I'm not necessarily one to judge people for their lack of flag waving, but I can't help but question it.

Why no flags? Would it be presumptuous for me to assume that it might have something to do with the seemingly growing proliferation of people who appear to be embarrassed of their status of Americans? Look on the Internet, look in the media, more and more I feel as if you have people lambasting the United States as a terrible place, a place that kills innocent people, or as Rosie O'Donnell put it, "655,000 Iraqis are dead. Who are the terrorists?" Look, I think it's one thing if you don't like our foreign policy, if you don't agree with the war in Iraq, if you don't like Bush, but it's a whole other thing if you don't like your country. You can't always agree with the decision of your leaders, and perhaps sometimes they do things that anger you, but this doesn't automatically make America into the villain it seems people are turning it into more and more.

Like why are people burning memorial day flags and replacing them with swastikas? How did it ever get to the point that its being compared with Nazis and being accused of the worst human rights violations in the world? Maybe there's some shady shit going on in Guantanamo, and I'm sure there are people on the ground in Iraq and elsewhere that abuse their position of power to do bad things, but come on! Such comparisons are ignorant and, I have to say it, just plain stupid. The United States government has been and continues to be the greatest supporter of human rights and individual freedom in the world, and I'm proud to say that with full conviction. Is it hypocritical that we support some bad regimes? Yes. Are there things we're involved in around the world that we probably shouldn't be involved in? Yes. Can the U.S. improve itself? Yes. But does this suddenly make us evil because we're imperfect? Absolutely not.

For the people who point at every single thing the U.S. does that is "bad," they're living in a dream world. Yes, I too can be an idealist, I too would love to state blankly that the U.S. does only good in this world. But that's not reality. Inevitably there's that whole part about national interests, and when it comes down to it, protecting the U.S. and its citizens will always and should always be the main priority of our leaders, even if it's at the expense of people elsewhere. Do I like this? No, but I know it to be true, and I know that so long as bad people exist in this world, innocents will suffer, either directly because of them, or indirectly because someone should have the balls to go in their and stop them, wherever they are.

Fact is, the U.S. remains the greatest source of good in this world, Iraq and Guantanamo and alliances with Saudi Arabia aside. We provide so much medicine and money and other aid to all parts of the world. We promote democracy and education wherever we can gain a foothold. We're constantly at the forefront of helping stem the spreads of diseases in impoverished areas. Our free society promotes the development of new technologies that improve the lives of billions of people around the world. It's our thinkers and politicians that have been at the forefront of ending tyranny and supporting individual rights either through their ideas or through their actions. It's our business leaders that help spread the benefits of free economies that have made the world as a whole richer and lifted more people out of poverty than any hand out ever could have. Our troops have spilled blood to make this world a better place, on our behalf and on the behalf of others. To all the people that hate their country because we're not flawless, I merely direct you towards the facts, and perhaps a history book.

By all means, criticize, question, scorn, but do not transform that into hating where you live and where you come from. I just read a really great book by Ayn Rand, "We the Living," that discussed the situation in Russia when the Soviets first came to power, how everyone had disliked the tsar, but as soon as they were under the Communists, suddenly the tsar seemed that much better. Yes it's fiction, just a novel, but it describes the same sorts of feelings I've gotten from my family who lived under Communism before coming to the States in the 70s. You really don't know how good you have it until you've experienced something worse. The immigrants to this country are amongst its greatest patriots, if only because they have the experience of living somewhere else and knowing how much better it is to live here. I'm not saying that holds true for everyone, but it does for many.

All this said, I still can't help but feel that, as my dad has mentioned to me recently, "we're going down as a country." I don't know why I can't shake that feeling because I have nothing to compare it against. I don't know if "what's happening" know somehow signals that we're deteriorating from the country we once used to be because I don't know what we were like 10, 20, 30 years ago. But if it is true, if we are "going down," it's not because of Iraq or because our military is overstretched or because of the national debt or the trade deficit. It's because we're rotting from the inside. It's because the people who are supposed to be Americans are growing indifferent and dismissive of their own country. It's because dissension is turning into hatred. If we want to keep any hope of staying the world's superpower, something that I think is crucial for the health, safety, and happiness of most of the world's citizens, something that I think is in the best interests of the billions of people in this world including those who aren't Americans, then we have to love who we are and we have to be proud of the responsibility we have both to our country and the rest of the world.

Ass Crack 6 Train

Please tell me why the underground passage to the downtown 6 train at 53rd St. always smells like ass. Like no joke. I've been using that thing since Summer 2005 and it always, without exception, reeks of crap. Every time I'm down there (no pun intended), I look around me, confused, contemplative, trying to figure out what the heck is going on. There's nothing unusual about the place. It has its basic piping and stains on the tiles, there's really nothing that yells out to me "here, over here, I'm what's causing this whole place to smell like shit." For a while I was convinced that some homeless person, perhaps out of spite, goes and takes a dump in the same secret location every day. I imagined there to be some loose floor tile somewhere, or some door that he had a key to, and that on a daily basis he'd just go when no one else was around and deposit a little gift for the commuters. Then it would seethe there for hours, acted on by the natural heat of the tunnels, until it just filled the whole space.

In fact it might have even gotten worse over these last two years. It used to be you could only smell it when you're actually in the underground passageway. But now it climbs out towards the tops of the stairs and you can get a whif even before you descend into that hell. More recently I've been smelling the strong odor of bleach in what I think is an apparent attempt to stamp it out. But instead, all you have is the combined smell of shit and bleach side-by-side. Quite ironic really. Then again, you can't kill an odor by splashing bleach into the air. I would think you'd actually need to spill it on the thing that smells. Apparently they just can't find it.

If there's anything positive to be found in this situation, it's the community that it creates. It's like when you're in a crowded train and someone farts. Suddenly it stinks, but no one acts like they smelled it. In fact, nobody moves, and tries to act as natural as possible. You're all looking at each other, wondering where it's coming from, but no one wants to look like they actually smell it. That's what happens in the underground passageway. Every knows it's awful, but everyone's just walking through there, not cringing, not covering their noses, just trying to act all natural and indifferent. Trust me, I know they're dying inside. I on the other hand, can't help but crack a smile every time that stuff hits my nose. I mean seriously, this place smells like shit for almost two years now, maybe longer. There's something tragically comical in that.

Look at Me Fingers

As if I didn't have enough to worry about, now I gotta question my parents about how my prenatal exposure to testosterone vs. estrogen has effected my development as a human being. After reading a curious article I've come to learn, most importantly, that:

"Kids with longer ring fingers compared to index fingers are likely to have higher math scores than literacy or verbal scores on the college entrance exam, while children with the reverse finger-length ratio are likely to have higher reading and writing, or verbal, scores versus math scores...Exposure to testosterone in the womb is said to promote development of areas of the brain often associated with spatial and mathematical skills, he said. That hormone makes the ring finger longer. Estrogen exposure does the same for areas of the brain associated with verbal ability and tends to lengthen the index finger relative to the ring finger."

I've always been sensitive about my hands, perhaps because they're unusually small. Not carny-small, nor do they smell like cabbage, but small enough that when I get snowboarding gloves I go for a woman's medium-large. Luckily snowboarding gloves often look pretty unisex, so it doesn't really make a difference, but when it comes to any "handware" where you need to get a men's cut, I'm kind of screwed. I have a bunch of pairs of gloves that have floppy finger tips when I wear them. And trust me when I say the small size of my hands indicates nothing more than the fact that my hands are indeed small. If you know what I'm saying. Wink, wink.

So after reading the article I inspected my own hands, curious as to what kind of SAT scores my own ring-to-index finger ration would supposedly predict. Curiously, although not unexpectedly, I found that my hands aren't symmetrical to each other. On my left hand, my index finger is slightly (I'm talking like 1mm) longer than my ring finger. On my right hand, my ring finger is very noticeably longer than my index finger. So does this mean that if I write with my left hand, I'll get better verbal scores, or more generally, I'll be better at "English stuff," and if I write with my right hand, I'll be more math-oriented? I'm a righty, in case you didn't know.

When it comes to my SATs, which by the way I took four times, at my best I got a 750 on my math portion and a 700 on my verbal portion. Yes youngsters, this was before they counted it out of 2400. You see, I'm still up on the times, I'm still hip to the SATs. This score should indicate that I had greater exposure to testosterone vs. estrogen in utero and that my ring finger should be longer than my index finger. As I mentioned above, this is only half true when it comes to both my hands. Still, I guess if you add up the total length differences from the two hands, my ring finger comes out on top by a little, which might be indicative of my only slightly better math vs. verbal score. On the LSATs, I also found myself more adept at logical games than the logical reasoning, although I was also decent at the reading comprehension. But in real life, which I consider somewhat more important than the simulated world of test taking, I'm more of a literature/verbal person and don't find myself all that interested in math or physics (even while I'm excited about the concepts they uncover).

So is this stuff believable? I never invest much in these sorts of studies even while it's fun to look at them. What I want to know if why my hands are so damn small! It's proving really frustrating to play instruments with these things.

Predictable

If you've been reading about the stuff going on in Lebanon between the Lebanese military and militants holed up in the Palestinian refugee camps, then maybe you are reminded of my post from only last week. Whenever I read any of these articles about the fighting and about the 40+ year "agreement" of the Lebanese not to enter these camps, I'm left wondering why they even exist? Typically, refugee camps are created because refugees are created when they flee from some tragedy. And perhaps there is tragedy in the fact that following the Six-Day War, the Arab loss and the Israeli victory created a refugee problem. But that was over 40 years ago. Still, these refugee camps survive, its inhabitants waiting for something rather than being integrated into the societies that house them. This is the true humanitarian crisis, that Palestinians who fled to Lebanon and Jordan and Syria and anywhere else, are still expected to live seperate and apart from the rest of the population, in tight overpopulated spaces, waiting for some sort of delivery. And then people are surprised when anger and frustration brew in such areas? Of course that's not a justification for the formation of Islamist groups, but the situation makes their formation more predictable. And no one saw these problems coming? The refugee camps are a breeding ground for people to be manipulated through a simple example - "look at how they have us living." Where else in the world have refugee camps survived so long? Where else in the world have refugee camps remained when there is seemingly no longer a need for them? There is no on-going war or famine or disease or anything that requires that they remain. It is nothing more than the manipulation of a population to believe in the hateful dream of removing all Jews from Israel that keeps the refugee camps alive. Their existence is a testament to the continued expectation and hope that one day, the Jews will be pushed into the sea. The camps are a means through which a whole group of people are forbidden from going on with their own lives.

Why Should Paris Get a Break?

Just as I was wringing my hands in malicious satisfaction at the idea of Paris Hilton spending 45 days in "jail" for breaking her "alcohol-related reckless driving" probation, I find out that she's had her sentence reduced to 23 days because of "good behavior." Did you know that it was previously reduced from 90 days to 45? What the heck?

Last time I checked, it was kind of a big deal to get in trouble for an alcohol-related driving situation. Apparently I was wrong. So does that mean if I get slaped with an "acohol-related reckless driving offense" (which we can all imagine is probably the nice way to write up a DUI or a DWI), I can then go ahead and break my probation and expect to get, at most, 45 days, or maybe 23 days in jail? That's great.

I'm also curious about this reduced sentence for "good behavior." According to the article, the LA County Sheriff's Spokesman said that "several factors" go into determining whether someone's sentence should be reduced, and amongst them is consideration for appearing at court when you're scheduled to. So now you get extra points just for showing up? That's sort of like the mythical 200-points you're supposed to get on the SATs just for writing your name. To this day I don't even know if that's real, although apparently having your time in prison cut in half is. I wonder if amongst the "several" other factors they considered was that Paris says "please" and plays well with the other kids. Don't you just want to pinch her cheeks? I thought good behavior was something that reduces your sentence after you're already in prison. I wonder whether you can be good now and rack up points for a possible later offense. So maybe I can help some old ladies cross the street and then a few years down the road, in case I get jailed for some protesting or something, they'll let me off easy. Maybe they have a list of all the good things you've done in your life and they consider that amongst the "several factors." Is the LA County Sheriff's Department a front for Santa Claus? That's the question we should really be asking.

And isn't it curious that she's staying in some facility with 12, 2-person cells reserved for "police officers, public officials, celebrities, and other high-profile inmates?" Does that mean that there's, like, some special prison for policemen and politicians? Am I reading this right? That many police officers and public officials get arrested on a daily basis that they need room for 24 of them at any given time? What kind of place is this? Oh yeah, I forgot, it's LA.

What ever happened to equality under the law? I know it's an idealistic sham, but here I really thought that they were going to come down hard on her and not back down. 45-days in prison is no joke, and neither is 23-days. But then again, violating your probation for what amounts to a DUI or maybe even a DWI is also no joke. I get the impression that your average citizen might have had it a little worse, and that pisses me off, probably even more so because Paris Hilton annoys the shit out of me.

Did you guys read how she tried to petition Schwarzenegger for a pardon? I love how his response is "I have more important things to think about." Yeah, like finding John Connor.

I think she should use the time in jail to write some music for a new CD because the first one was that good. Or maybe she could think of a plot for a new sex tape. Heck, maybe she could actually make one while she's there, like "One Night in Paris in Jail."

Bigotry or Comedy?

Credited as another "Imus-esque" move, I just read today that two more shock jocks were fired based on racial slurs they said in their radio show. As if the Asians don't already have it bad enough, now they had DJs saying heinous things like "slimp flied lice" and comparing food items to certain parts of the body. How egregious is that?

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OK, look, so I'm not a racist, but when did offensive comedy become a punishable offense? Fine, so I probably don't want to walk around in my place of employment and start ranting about blacks, gays, and Jews, but I thought that "shock jocks" were supposed to be "shocking" in their comedic routines. I don't want to comment on the Imus thing here but I wanted to make an argument as pertains to this newest situation. Nor do I want to talk about Michale Richards because he, arguably, broke character in making his statements, and so the whole "offensive comedy" thing doesn't apply if you're not being funny.

Still, "slimp flied lice?" Are we going to fire someone over that? I honestly don't know one New Yorker who hasn't said something like that. I mean, just take a classic American film like "A Christmas Story." At the end, when they're eating Christmas dinner at a Chinese restaurant, the big joke is that the Chinese waiters sing "Deck the Halls" by saying "Deck the Halls with Bounds of Horry, ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra. Tis the season to be jorry..." and so on. Get it? Can't pronounce "l"s so they say "r." Funny. Laugh now.

But that stuff is funny because stereotypes are funny when used as a part of comedy. Sure we can all get offended, but then don't we all say how much we hate political correctness? I thought we'd come down from its height in the 90s but sometimes I wonder whether it's just evolved into a creature that leaps out at us when we least expect it, hiding behind Al Sharpton's wide frame. Sometimes I think that people like Al Sharpton are just the host organisms for things like political correctness. He must have some sort of bug leeched to his brain.

Anyway, of course we don't want to get carried away, and we don't want to offend people, but can't we leave at least someone in our society, perhaps the comedians doing their comedy routines, room to make us laugh by saying offensive things? Can't we be OK with comedic TV shows and movies that do the same things? "Borat" was ridiculously offensive, and even while I found myself cringing through most of it, I was somehow grateful that stuff like that we're comfortable enough to make movies like that and laugh at them. Maybe our energy is best spent focusing on the real hate that goes on in the world.

1000th Post(?) & Stamp Speculating

So according to Blogger, this is my 1000th post. I find that hard to believe, because I can't imagine, even with 2.5 years of this under my belt, that I've actually had that much to say. But aha, then I remember that the "post" counter also includes all those pics I used to post individually before Blogger got all snazzy with its in-page pictures (which, by the way, I can't stand because they take forever to download and they're always difficult to place exactly where you want them on the page). Still, 1000th post sounds pretty cool, so I'll take it. Do you feel any different knowing that I've been around that long? Are you uncomfortable that our relationship has gotten to this point? What do we do now? I wonder what 2000 will feel like. Given the sparser posting of late I feel like 2000th won't happen until like 2012 or something.

OK, now onto new substance (if you can call it that). I'm kind of annoyed, shockingly, that the Post Office raised stamp prices. I have like 12 stamps that are for 39 cent denominations, and now suddenly I have to go buy 2 cent stamps? How frustrating. I'm thinking I might just start putting two regular stamps on just to get rid of them. But I imagine that's what the Post Office is banking on. People that would rather not bother with the 2 cent additions will just use up their old stamps and buy the new ones for 41 cents, meaning that the Post Office gets a windfall from all that doubled up 39 cent stampage.

Then there's the new "Forever Stamp." At first I'm like "wow, a scheme through which I can make some money." Of course the idea is you buy up these Forever Stamps and then when the price goes up, you've got these stamps that are still good. So when stamps cost 50 cents, I'm selling my forever stamp on eBay for 45 cents and then I'm the one getting a windfall. But then I thought about it, and I don't really think it makes that much sense. First, there's the issue of how long it will take for the stamp prices to go up enough that I'd make some money. Lets say I'm waiting for the price to hit 50 cents and it takes 5 years to get there. With inflation, perhaps 50 cent stamps 5 years from now will be cheaper than 41 cent stamps today. And even if they weren't, how many stamps would I need to buy/sell to make some money? Like millions. I'm so not doing it, although I'm sure I'm not the only one whose mind this crossed.

If anything, the Forever Stamps are just a personal convenience so as never to have to deal with those 2 cent additions when the price keeps going up. Then again, at the rate the world is going in, with hard-copy mail shippments dropping off, soon all letters and stamps (or the vast majority of them) will be obsolete. Then again, perhaps if we one day face a post-apocalyptic world akin to the one portrayed in that Kevin Costner classic "The Postman," then the stamps might come in handy again.

Pez Treasure?

Right now you want to be me. I know without you even saying anything. Admit it. Say it with me, "I want to be Ruvym." I know you're looking at my new Pez dispenser with envy. And I know that you know how freaking valuable it probably is.

I'm not some crazy Pez dispenser collector, although I have many crazy collections of my own (ex. Beenie Babies - don't you dare say a word about that). But in that collector's spirit, I try to pick up unusual things that I think might have value, and right here, I quite possibly could have a nice find.

Let me put this in perspective for you. I'm in the supermarket near me, ready to pop out with my Haagen-Dazs and sprinkles (or "jimmies" for the rest of you). On the check-out line, I see his packaged Pez dispenser just sitting on the shelf, like right near the register. I pick it up and start turning it around in my hand and I'm really confused. I'm saying this this is like, covered completely in dust, and I have no clue how it's still in the store's inventory. At first I'm amused, and as I turn over the carboard/plastic container I'm reading things like "now a special slim, fashionable, refillable Pez Dispenser for pocket or purse," and I'm thinking, "wow, this is really old." Who writes advertisements like that any more? And what's so damn special about a Pez Dispenser. Then I'm also noticing that it comes with six peppermint candy strips, and I'm wondering who the hell buys peppermint any more. I'm noticing the price - $1.89 - and that seems like it's really cheap. Additionally, of the six peppermint strips inside, 4 look like a little different than the other 2, so its got some added weirdness to it.

Then my mind flips into Antiques Roadshow mode and I'm imagining that I've come across something a little unusual. On a whim I decide to buy it. Lord knows I'm not planning on eating this ancient candy, but I figure $1.89 is worth the loss if this thing ends up being valueless, but if it's worth something, I'm looking at a pretty good return.

So now I got it back at my place and I did a little quick searching as far as Pez Dispensers go. So far so good. First off, this thing has no feet, which places it before 1987, making it over 20 years old. Can you imagine? That alone makes this incredible. Somehow this supermarket has a Pez Dispenser on its shelves that's from pre-1987. What the hell was it doing there? Who the heck brought it all the way up to the register and then just left it behind? The thing scanned in fine and everything, so its not like some random person just left this dust-covered Pez Dispenser there by accident. Second, it's still in the carboard/plastic container with all the candy intact, additionally adding to its value. I'm sure this thing isn't from the 1950s when, believe it or not, they had Pez Dispensers. But it's pretty damn old as far as I can tell. Plus the whole 4/2 peppermint candy strip combo, where they look kind of different, I'm thinking that's a packaging mistake, which likely also adds to the value.

I'll keep you informed if I come across any more info on this. But for now I'm already imagining paying off my student loans with this thing. Hey, it could happen.

Palestinian Limbo

I read an article today that underscores a problem that helps fuel the continuing Palestinian-Israeli conflict as an undertone to the larger Arab-Israeli conflict and the Muslim-Jewish conflict. Following the creation of the state of Israel in 1948 (the 59th birthday was a few weeks back), many Arabs living in the new Jewish state fled to Arab controlled areas. When Jerusalem, the West Bank, and Gaza were conquered following the Six-Day War, an aggressive attempt to destroy the Jewish state and "toss all Jews into the Sea," the "Palestinian refugee" problem was solidified. While inevitably many Arabs remained in the "occupied territories," many also fled to neighboring countries like Jordan, Syria, Lebanon, and Egypt, becoming refugees.

Consequently, over the course of many decades, these refugees have never been fully integrated into their host societies. History is replete with refugees fleeing wars, famine, disease, etc. Many of these refugees retain hopes of returning home and reestablishing the lives they gave up. But for many that live in these refugee camps and in these host states, they aren't encouraged or given a chance to reestablish themselves in the new country. Palestinian refugees often remain second-class citizens that never become integrated into the surrounding society, and these host governments stoke their displeasure by preventing such integration.

As the article points out, these Palestinians remain "in limbo" as far as their lives are concerned. Unable to have normalized existences in the host-countries, they retain hopes of returning to "Palestine" and they are continuously encouraged to dream about the "glory days" when there was no Jewish state. When you compare Palestinian refugees in the surrounding Middle East countries to those who went to Europe or America, you often find an interesting contrast as far as remembering Palestine goes. Many if not most of the ones living in developed democratic societies, who have been educated and integrated, have no independent desire to return to a new Palestinian state should one be created. Although their rhetoric is often one of Israeli/Jewish misdeeds and apartheid and reclaiming "Palestine," their voices are directed towards justice for their Mid-East relatives, not for themselves.

In this way, the problem is the unintegrated masses living in anger around Israel in countries that have an interest to keep a Palestinian underclass fuming about Israel and the Jews. So long as such an underclass exists, there remains hope for garnering the world's sympathy and frustration and potentially using this to one day overrun Israel and expel the Jews. Had Palestinian refugees been accepted and allowed to prosper in their host countries, the conflict would not be anything like it is today. Inevitably there would still be anger, but there wouldn't be a mass of millions of people being primed over the course of many decades to hate Israel and Jews, waiting to one day march on "al-Quds" and push the Jews into the sea.

If we want to talk about refugees, but without taking away from the plight of Palestinian refugees who I recognize and try to sympathize with, lets talk about the biggest refugees of all-time - the Jews. Jews have been thrown from one land to another over the course of thousands of years. Often their new homes refused to fully accept them or to give them full citizenship status, but Jews made due despite these hindrances. Jews worked and fought towards full integration and more often then not, and to the chagrin of the more conservative elements in Jewish society, wanted and did become assimilated. That's why today you have Jews from all over the world who are proud to call themselves Americans or British or French or Argentinian. Pre-WWII, German Jews who had fought for the German army in WWI, couldn't believe that they were suddenly not German enough. Many stayed behind as the Holocaust began brewing because they couldn't fathom that the Fatherland would turn on them after they had given their lives to the state and made their homes there.

Of course many Jews, in all of these societies, always retained this notion of Jerusalem as a home and of a future state of Israel. This is a biblical and a cultural affiliation that finds no similar ties in Islam (i.e. there is nothing in the Koran that would make Muslims think that Jerusalem and Israel is supposed to their home). But all this aside, because ultimately a religious and cultural argument works very poorly in the modern political landscape, if you look at Jews living in societies where they didn't face as much political turmoil and were allowed to become productive citizens, many if not most of these Jews never retained a view of Israel as the homeland. It was Jews facing persecution and hate and second-class status that needed to go "home" to a place where they would be safe from the whims of the world, which always seemed capable, one way or another, to return to hating them.

Fact is, most Jews living in America or Europe, the millions of them that make up over half the Jewish population in the world, have little interest to reestablish themselves in Israel. They all respect and love Israel if only because it has become a home for Jews who haven't been as fortunate, Jews who were haunted post-Holocaust and could not imagine ever being safe anywhere else in the world, Jews from Eastern Europe and Russia who lived under the shadow of Communism and totalitarianism for many decades, and Jews from surrounding Middle Eastern countries who often faced pogroms and hate, particularly after the creation of the state of Israel.

The point is that the Palestinians refugees have been used all this time to remain poised to "one day" reclaim all of Palestine. Unable to make new homes and start new lives, and living outside of society in these refugee camps, they continuously look at the state of Israel as the place they need to take back. Even Palestinians living in the West Bank and Gaza remain in this "limbo" state. Their leaders refuse to settle into a new Palestinian state where normalization might begin to take place. Rather the rhetoric is always taking back land that has been lost so that one is left to wonder whether there will ever be satisfaction over a Palestinian state as it is currently being offered. The people are brainwashed into not being satisfied until "Palestine" runs from the Jordan to the Mediterranean. While of course there are many elements that would be happy with simply creating a state and finally having normal lives that don't involve camps and conflict, the louder elements, and perhaps the majority that helped elect Hamas a few years back, don't want anything short of the whole thing. Can there ever be peace in such an environment?

The past happened, Israel was created, and many people lost many things in the process. But that is the situation today, and if we care about civility and progress and democracy, then Palestinian refugees need to be given a chance to make homes in their adopting countries the same way Israel accepted and integrated Jewish refugees from around the world. Perhaps this is not the best option for many of them, in the same way that many Jewish refugees from Middle Eastern states still bemoan having to leave their homes and being unable to return to the lives they once had, but it beats raising generations in a hate-filled limbo where your children and their children have something to live and hope for other than war.

Time Stopped in 2004

I thought about it last night, and I realized that in many ways, it's as if time stopped for me in 2004. When I say "stopped" I mean that a lot of stuff from that point on has stayed the same. Of course things have changed, that's impossible to deny, but lets go through the list and see what hasn't:

1. 2004: The Best Year
If I think about the best year of my life, I think I can say it was 2004 (although it maybe, maybe, could have been 2002, but lets dismiss that for argument's sake). The LSATs were behind me, I was in my first year of law school, second semester, when I kind of got used to what it was like but it was still new enough that it was exciting. As a first year I was forced to socialize and befriend more people so that I probably had the greatest number of law school friends that first year, and then they slowly started to peter out. I was still an RA in my building, but now I was a "grad" RA which, for whatever reason, felt a lot cooler. Later in the year, for most of it actually, I was in love, for the first time in my life. That summer I got a pretty cool job at HBO and had a great time going to restaurants and the beach. Fall semester wasn't as spectacular, but it was still a good time, and my spirits were very high.

2. 2004: The Clothes and Hand-Me-Downs
That summer, for my first "real" legal job, I bought the vast majority of the work clothes I still have today. That was like the summer of the boosted wardrobe, because suddenly my closet had double the amount of stuff I had before. I mean 4 button-downs, 2 pairs of slacks, and 2 suits were just not going to cut it if I had to dress like that to work every day. Other than that, 2004 also saw my brother outgrowing all of his clothes that were now a perfect size for me. So, perhaps ironically, no, definitely ironically, I got a big cache of hand-me-downs from my 4-years-younger brother. To this day, close to 50% of my non-work waredrobe is clothes I got from him.

3. 2004: Electronics
This is fudging it a little, but I got my computer in late 2003 and I got my iPod and camera in early 2005 (for my b-day), but hey, it's close enough to 2004 that we should just let it count. My TV is from 2004 although my XBox is from early 2003, so that doesn't work. Hmmm. OK so this category isn't working as well, but the idea was good when I first thought of it. Wait, most of my DVDs are from then, and most of the videogames that I still own.

4. 2004: Guitar
Although I didn't get my own guitar until early 2005, the inspiration hit me in late 2004, and I even had my first experiences with a guitar that year. Like I hadn't even held one before then.

5. 2004: College Bro
My bro finished high school in 2004 and came to join me at NYU. That was a nice honeymoon period we had, when it was novel for him to always be around in the City, and we would have all-you-can-eat at the dining halls on a near-regular basis. This is relevant to now because he's still in school.

6. 2004: Year of the Hand and Fist (or Something Like That)
Although I started Tae Kwon Do in 2003, I was still doing it into 2004 (my last year). It was also in 2004 that I really befriended Carlos, the captain of the team. That team brought an additional two people that I'm still friends with today. When you consider that since 2004 I've only added about two new people I can call friends (as in I want to and do hang out with them outside of a forced environment such as school or work, which is the standard I go by), then TKD was a pretty big deal. Additionally, it means that little has changed in my social network since 2004, which brings me back to my "time stopped in 2004" theme. See how it all comes together?

7. 2004: Welcome to the Holy Land
Also being one of the major changes to my life, I went to Israel for the first time in 2004. I looked at it as just another vacation, a chance to go to a non-European, non-Canadian foreign destination for the first time in my life. But it ended up being a lot more than that. I credit that trip and the aftermath considerations/contemplations/changes that followed for getting me more involved with my history and culture. These connections that I built are still a major part of my life today.

8. 2004: More Athletics: Swimming & Snowboarding
Wow, that double colon looks weird. Sorry about that. But it makes a point - 2004 was the year I took up two sports that I had considered/dabbled with before but never cared much about. I started swimming like twice a week to the point that I lost about 10 pounds and looked anorexic. OK, so maybe that's not a good thing, but I'm telling you, that sport is crazy good for cutting you up. You become like a little block of muscle and your metabolism is through the roof. I was eating like 5 times a day and still losing weight. Then there's that wonderful snowboarding. 2004 was the first time I took Dune out on the slopes, it was the first time I was really hooked on it.

OK so now that I think I'm done with this list, I realize I kind of struggled through it and that a lot has changed since then. Maybe it's just the first part, about it being the best year, that compelled me to think that little has moved, when in fact it has moved, just not to the heights I would have liked. There are so many reasons 2004 was so awesome, and I think chief amongst those is that feeling of incredible opportunity from being out of undergrad and in a more serious setting, maybe even a sense of great possibility, at being on the cusp of an amazing new chapter of my life, really the beginning of adulthood. There was such a great balance that year that I never felt as if I was missing out on something, or that I needed to find something else. I wonder what it is that makes me feel so unsettled and restless today.

In any case, now you know that almost all my clothes date back to 2004, so I'm definitely not out of style yet. But that also makes me think I might need to go on a shopping spree sometime this summer. Anyone want to join me? I hate shopping alone.

Rant

Whenever I finally get a book I've been excited about, I feel like a nerd at a Dungeons & Dragons convention. I hear that a favorite writer has something new coming out and I preorder it on Amazon like 3 months in advance. Then I sort of forget about it. Weeks later, I'll get notified that something has shipped and I'll remember the book. Every morning I'll wonder if I'll get it that day, and when I eventually do, I can't wait to go off into a corner and see if this one is better than the last.

I've been disappointed lately, because I often find that the first book of an author's that you read, that hooks you to them and makes you want to see what else they have out there, is usually the best. This is sort of frustrating, because I'm always hoping to be wowed like I was the first time I read something of theirs. It's like a young love that starts to fizzle out, and then you're sort of just sticking around because you're used to them and can't help yourself, you're always hoping that something will change and spark you to feel the same way you did in the beginning.

The last 4 years I've been pretty disappointed by Chuck Palahniuk, writer of "Fight Club" and one of the few authors whose new books I always have to grab whenever they come out. I started reading him after I saw the movie, and of course, "Fight Club" was the first book I went to. Since then I've read all of his full-length fiction and none of it has measured up to "Fight Club." In fact, although several of his other books are pretty good, they seem to decline in quality with each successive one.

Not like that keeps me from buying them whenever they come out. Of his other stuff, I'd say read "Choke" and "Invisible Monsters" and maybe "Haunted." But the rest of it isn't that great. The latest book, that I got a few days ago, is called "Rant." Keeping with his style, this one is as demented, perverted, and gross as most of the rest of them. I'm starting to wonder if his "style" has just become some shtick he has to keep doing so people read him. He's also obsessed with plot twists and surprise endings, so that you're pretty much always expecting it as you're reading the book. It's kind of like with M. Night after "The Sixth Sense." It gets so that you can't enjoy the moment because you're looking for the hidden secret in hopes of figuring it out before anybody else.

In any case, I'm still psyched about the book. So far it's pretty decent but I know I'm already looking for the secret. If I remember, I'll let you know how it all ends up. I just wish there was more extraordinary stuff out there. I can only name maybe 5-6 books I've ever read in my life that measure up to that level. I just try to tell myself that if most things were extraordinary than I'd never appreciate them as much as I do when most things suck.

The Legs Series

The following is what I call "The Legs Series." It consists of a series of legs from this weekend's party at Ariel's. The identities of the legs' owners are only revealed through Facebook tagging. For now, enjoy the artistic conceptions behind each:

1. "The Artist" - The artist sits in quiet contemplation, playing around with his camera, taking pictures just to pass the time. Accidentally having taken a picture of his legs, he conceives of the concept. His shoes also look awesome even though he learned a few weeks back that his friend has had the identical shoes for the past 3 years.



2. "Player 1" - A ferocious "Street Fighter" match has erupted in the room. Hands sweaty from holding the control and facing the ferocity of his opponent, Player 1 tries to measure his attack. His cowboy boots peel out from under the bottoms of his jeans making people wonder "why is he wearing cowboy boots?"

3. "Player 2 and Friend(?)" - With striking similar shoes to the artist (I just noticed that), Player 2 grips his knee while trying to suppress the frustration of the last match. With the other hand on the controller, he tries to express a nonchallance against the challenge posed by Player 1. A losing streak is not easy to accept for this highly competitive guy. A barefooted observer stands at his side, perhaps offering some support, perhaps seeking to undermine whatever strategy Player 2 is trying to develop. Is he a friend or an inside agent for someone else?

4. "The Innocent" - Legs extended, at first glance the innocent looks relaxed, comfortable in these surroundings. But upon closer inspection her hands are clasped together and she cradles a beer. A sign of defensiveness in the face of the pure male virility circulating in the air. She belongs here, and yet she remains seperate from everyone else. Is this done on purpose or inadvertantly?

5. "The Frustration" - Frustration looms. Games are won and lost and often it seems that it's out of our hands. The better, more deserving individual will suffer defeat while his less-skilled opponent posts a surprising victory. Alongside it all, the artist retains his documentarian's pose, capturing the events while trying not to get wrapped up in the emotion. In the distance, a stranger turns away from the screen in disgust.

6. "The Feet and the Shoes" - Two sides of the same coin, the Ying and the Yang. On one edge we have the nakedness of the barefooted friend and across from him, dominating the scene, is the shoed friend. The near-identical jeans make us question if they are pieces of the same person. Are they representative of the struggle that goes on inside each of us?



7. "The Cat's Meow" - To be subjected to such degredation. The cat escapes to its restroom while everyone is an onlooker. Like an ostrich, it thinks that by hiding its head so that it cannot see the growing furor in the room, that it will somehow disappear. This, of course, is not true.

8. "The Package" - Some people are packing. It's just that you never know whether it's just a sock.

Fin